Find Someone Who Is
Truly Right for You.
A serious, professionally developed compatibility system that goes far deeper than background and first impressions — into the emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions that actually determine whether a marriage will thrive. Free. Private. Built for people who are serious about getting it right.
Before your first date, know what actually matters.
How does this person handle conflict and pressure? What do they need emotionally to feel loved and secure in a marriage? What does their upbringing mean for how they will approach family, finances, and religious life? Are they emotionally ready to give love as much as they need to receive it? Do your values, your goals, and your vision for a Jewish home genuinely align?
Shadchans.org works through all of this privately and thoroughly — so that when you sit across from each other for the first time, you are already walking in with a clear, honest picture of who this person is and whether your lives can genuinely fit together.
That is a completely different kind of first meeting.
What Makes This Different
Our questionnaire was developed by a Chabad professional pre-marriage counselor who has spent years understanding what it takes for two people to build a genuinely strong and lasting Jewish home together. These are the six dimensions most systems never look at.
Psychological Depth — Not Just Background
Two people can share the same hashkafa, the same community, the same family values — and still be fundamentally mismatched in how they think, feel, give love, and handle the pressures of daily life. We go deep enough to find the real match.
Your Upbringing Shapes Who You Will Be as a Spouse
The home you grew up in — its warmth, its tensions, its model of marriage — shapes everything about how you will approach your own. Understanding this creates a depth of compatibility that no résumé can capture.
Emotional Readiness — Assessed Honestly
Someone can be warm, kind, and well-intentioned — and still not be emotionally ready to give what their spouse truly needs. Our system assesses emotional availability honestly and clearly, so both people know what they are walking into.
Religious Life at the Level That Actually Matters
Chalav Yisrael. Which shechita. Kollel or career from day one. Hair covering — yes, no, no compromise. Yirat Shomayim as a lived daily reality. These are the textures of married life — and they matter deeply.
How You Will Handle Life Together
How do you each respond under pressure? Can you take criticism from someone you love? Do your communication styles work together or against each other? These patterns — identified early — are the foundation of a strong marriage.
Practical Life — Aligned Before It Matters
Who earns. Who stays home. Separate bank accounts or shared. Kollel or career. These are the daily-life questions that every couple navigates. When both people enter a marriage aligned on these, everything else is so much easier.
Answer as you actually are, not as you wish you were. Your answers determine who you are matched with. An honest answer finds you someone who fits your real life — not someone who fits the version of yourself you presented. Your spouse will not be living with your résumé. They will be living with you.
The system works to the exact degree that you are honest with it.
The Depth That Makes
the Difference
Every dating platform asks about background and hobbies. We assess the emotional and psychological dimensions that actually determine whether two people can build a genuinely strong Jewish home together — and give both people the clearest possible picture before the relationship begins.
Your Upbringing Shapes Your Marriage
Whether you grew up in a warm, stable home or one with tension, divorce, or emotional distance — it shaped who you became as a person and as a future spouse. Understanding this about each other creates a foundation most couples spend years trying to build.
Emotional Patterns — Understood Before Marriage
Each person carries patterns from their upbringing — in how they handle pressure, express love, and respond when things get difficult. Identifying these patterns before marriage means they become something you navigate together with understanding, not something that surprises you later.
Emotional Availability — Assessed Honestly
One of the most significant factors in any marriage: can each person give love freely, or do they need to receive it first? Our system assesses this honestly — and matches people who can genuinely meet each other where they are.
Personality and Communication — Compatible
How do you respond when something bothers you? Can you receive criticism from someone you love? Do you lean toward perfectionism or flexibility? These are not small details — they are the daily texture of a shared life, and compatibility here matters deeply.
Religious Life — Beyond the Label
Yirat Shomayim as a lived daily reality. Trust in Hashem when things are genuinely hard. Shabbos, mikvah, kashrut — not as categories but as the actual fabric of your home and how you raise your children.
Every Difference Becomes a Real Conversation
For every meaningful difference the system identifies, it generates a specific topic for your dates — shown with His Answer and Her Answer side by side. A starting point for the conversations that build real understanding and a strong foundation before marriage.
Developed by a Chabad professional pre-marriage and marriage counselor with expertise in hypnoanalysis. Not a personality quiz built by an algorithm. A serious, professionally built compatibility system designed around what it actually takes for two people to build a strong, lasting Jewish marriage.
Simple to Use. Profound in What It Reveals.
Four steps. One genuinely compatible match.
Register — Free
Create your account in minutes. Your contact details stay completely private until you both choose to connect.
Answer Your Questions
Work through 10 sections at your own pace — progress saves automatically. Most people say it felt less like filling a form and more like finally thinking through things they never had words for.
Upload Your Photo
Your photo is visible to your matches on the match page — not to the general public. The right person, already matched to you on a high score, will find you beautiful. Don’t be shy.
See Your Full Compatibility Report
A compatibility percentage, any significant differences shown clearly and honestly, and specific conversation topics for your dates — each with His Answer and Her Answer. You are always in complete control of what happens next.
Religion & Jewish Identity
Observance, kashrut, hair covering, Kollel, Baal Teshuva, Yirat Shomayim, trust in Hashem when things are hard.
Family Background & Childhood
Your parents’ marriage, the emotional environment you grew up in, divorce, animosity, and how it shaped you.
Love, Emotions & Attachment
How you give and receive love, emotional availability, and what you need to feel genuinely secure.
Personality, Character & Conflict
Anger patterns, criticism, jealousy, possessiveness, forgiveness, and how you communicate under pressure.
Work, Career & Finances
Who earns, who stays home, Kollel, salary, bank accounts, financial philosophy, breadwinner expectations.
Goals, Purpose & Values
Your purpose in life, marriage philosophy, Aliyah, where to live, long-term direction as a couple.
Children & Parenting
How many children, Jewish schooling, secular education, and how you plan to raise your family.
Lifestyle & Daily Life
Television, travel, eating out, music, socializing, cooking, pets, and how you enjoy spending your time.
Health & Medical Background
Family health history, Tay Sachs / Dor Yeshorim, disabilities, medications, hereditary conditions.
Kashrut & Religious Practice
Chalav Yisrael, Glatt, shechita, kosher at home and outside, eating at parents’ home.
What You See When You Get a Match
Not just a name and a photo. A full compatibility report — an honest, structured picture of who this person is and whether your lives can genuinely fit together.
Compatibility Score
A percentage based on how your answers align across all 10 areas of life — weighted by what genuinely matters in a Jewish marriage.
Significant Differences — Shown Clearly
Any halachic concerns or deep compatibility differences are shown clearly at the top. Nothing is buried. Everything is brought into the open so both people can make a fully informed decision.
Real Topics for Your Dates
Where your answers meaningfully differ, the system generates specific conversation topics — not your answers, just the subject. So your dates go somewhere real from the very first meeting.
Connect When You Both Choose To
Express interest. If they feel the same, contact details are shared. Everything moves at your pace and nothing happens without mutual agreement.
Your Answers Are Always 100% Private
Your match never sees your answers — not even one. What they see is a short list of topics to discuss on your dates, generated from areas where your answers meaningfully differ. Your full questionnaire stays completely private. Always.
You Are Sharing Personal Things. We Protect Every Word.
Contact Details — Private Until You Both Agree
Your phone and email are never shared until you both express mutual interest. Your photo is visible to your matches on the match page — but contact details are never exchanged without mutual agreement. You can also use a family member or shadchan’s contact instead.
Your Answers Are Never Seen by Anyone
Your match never sees a single answer. The system compares both profiles privately and generates only conversation topics for your dates — never the answers themselves.
Secure, Encrypted & Deletable
All data transmitted over HTTPS, stored securely, never shared with third parties. Delete your account and all data permanently — anytime, no questions asked.
Already Married? This Is for You Too.
Both husband and wife answer the same questionnaire independently. The system generates a full compatibility report of your marriage — where you align, where you differ meaningfully, and the conversations worth having together. Not a verdict on your marriage. A gift to it.
Explore the Married Couples Program →A Note for Shadchanim
When your instinct says two people might be right for each other, use our full compatibility report to understand both individuals at a deeper level before you make the call. The wisdom and the personal touch remain entirely yours. We give you the most complete picture possible to work with.
The Right Person Exists.
This Is How You Find Them.
A serious, thorough, professionally developed system — completely free, completely private, and built to find someone who is genuinely right for you. Create your profile and let the system do what no photo and no first impression ever could.